A Collar?!

Mommy put a pink collar with a bell on me today and I HATE it! What does she think I am anyway -- a reindeer? I don't need spurs that jingle jangle jingle. I only like to play with toys that crinkle. She bought me this one toy ball that jingles when it rolls. I never play with it. Why? Because I hate it. I call it Hell's Bells. And right now -- I hate Mommy. I thought this was supposed to be Sunday Funday. Apparently not for Lulu -- only Mommy. I'll figure out how to chew this wretched thing off of me. And to make matters worse, it's PINK! Pink with a bell?! Come on. I'm a DTLA girl, not a West Hollywood hanger outer at The Abbey. The next time I'm in a Petco with Mommy I'm going to pull all of the collars off the wall that they sell, for the good of all cat kind. If Mommy is such a great marketer, she'll figure out how to make a product that works like a collar but a cat doesn't have to wear it. I know this is only the beginning. Next it will be a sweater or a cap. Why? Because SHE thinks it's cute. I'll get even with her. I'm just waiting until she tries to sleep tonight and I'll pounce on her when she's in the middle of a really good dream. And this friggin' bell that I'm wearing will scare the crap out of her. No Funday for Mommy. I'll make sure of that.